Have You Got Any Castles?



Have You Got Any Castles? is a seven minute animated short film that premiered in theaters on June 25, 1938. It was a part of the Merrie Melodies series produced by Leon Schlesinger, and distributed by Vitaphone. It was re-issued as a Blue Ribbon on February 1, 1947 without the question mark.

Background
The daily publication Film Daily called the short a "fine fantasy", and gave it the following review: "The story takes place in a library, with all the characters coming to life from well known works of fiction, both classical and modern. Rip Van Winkle is the center of interest, as he cannot continue sleeping with the noise. Finally he gets "The Hurricane" to blow all the noise-makers back into the covers of their books again, and he goes peacefully to sleep. The final titles show the pop book, "Gone with the Wind." Produced by Leon Schlesinger. Story by Jack Miller. Animation by Ken Harris. In Technicolor."1 The caricature of Alexander Woollcott in this short is a human version of the owl caricature in another Tashlin short, "The Woods are Full of Cuckoos", which was released the year prior, and had similar mannerisms. The theme of the short is similar to another 1937 Tashlin short, Speaking of the Weather.

Summary
As the cartoon opens, following the cuckoo clock, the town crier (a caricature of Woollcott), after a brief introduction, introduces four monsters (Jekyll from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Fu Manchu, The Phantom of the Opera, and Frankenstein) who introduce themselves roaring, but then dance a minuet. As characters from other books cheer them on, the globe-shaped protagonist of The Good Earth prays by his bedside. The library is panned over to the right, revealing the books The Invisible Man with an invisible man dancing, Topper (a novel from a series by Thorne Smith, as well as a film series) with a similar theme, The Thirty-Nine Steps with a caricature of "Bojangles" Robinson dancing down the steps, and So Big, which is a caricature of Greta Garbo, and The Green Pastures which turn into a big band presentation of Swing for Sale led by a caricature of Cab Calloway.

Panning over the cheering crowd, the camera reveals a singing Heidi, a literal Thin Man (a cariacature of William Powell as Nick Charles) walking over into the White House Cook Book and coming out fat, Whistler's Mother on the cover of a Great Works of Art book performing literally, and three Little Women (three Jane Withers clones) and three Little Men (three Freddie Bartholomew clones) singing together with Old King Cole (spoofing deep-voiced Warners character actor Eugene Pallette), the characters of The House of the Seven Gables (seven identical caricatures of Clark Gable), and a drumming bulldog -- a play on Bulldog Drummond. Next Louis Pasteur (a cariacature of Paul Muni in his Oscar winning role) mixes chemicals from test tubes until they blow up, revealing Pasteur in Seventh Heaven. Also appearing is Captain Bligh (a cariacature of Charles Laughton) on the Mutiny on the Bounty. None of this pleases a sleeping Rip Van Winkle, complaining about Old King Cole being a noisy old soul while using The Valiant Little Tailor's scissors to snip hair from Uncle Tom to plug his ears.

The music gets louder, with The Three Musketeers (The Ritz Brothers) playing, Drums along the Mohawk providing a beat, and a character from Mother India also plays along. Then Emily Host (Emily Post) scolds Henry VIII for his rudeness. Rip takes scissors from The Valiant Little Tailor and tries to use them on a character from Uncle Tom's Cabin, only to be beaten back. Diamond Jim comes along pitching mortgage payments as the Drums Along the Mohwak beat louder, Henry VIII becomes even more gluttonous, and Oliver twists. W.C. Fields with a red nose (a play on So Red the Rose), and the Pied Piper join in.

The Musketeers become Three Men on a Horse, grabbing the Seven Keys to Baldpate along the way, and free the Prisoner of Zenda over Aladdin's objections. As the Three Men pass The Informer, he whispers to Little Boy Blew (Little Boy Blue) who then trumpets for a Charge of the Light Brigade. Robinson Crusoe also fires at the Three Men, along with guns from All Quiet on the Western Front and backup cavalry from Under Two Flags. With the incessant firing, Rip has had enough, and has all of the characters run into The Hurricane, making them "Gone with the Wind".

The town crier than appears to conclude the cartoon, with Rip sleeping on the cuckoo clock (with its cuckoo muzzled; see Censorship below for information about the beginning and ending).

Censorship
Note that all these sequences are present on the DVD release "Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 2".
 * After this film's initial release, Alexander Woollcott requested that his caricature as "The Town Crier" in this cartoon be cut for reissue after his death. The cuts are as follows:
 * After the cuckoo clock sounds and the camera pans over the library, the shadow of the Town Crier appears, which then fades out to the books being presented.
 * The cartoon ends after Rip van Winkle eliminates the fighting cowboys and Indians into a book called "Hurricane", and then the then-recent book "Gone with the Wind" pops up, with a fade out.
 * On TBS, in addition to the above cuts made for the reissue, the following scenes were cut:
 * Caricatures of Bill "Bojangles" Robinson tap dancing in a book called "The 39 Steps", and the immediate next scene of Cab Calloway singing "I've Got Swing For Sale" (which was recycled from the 1937 Censored Eleven cartoon Clean Pastures. The scene's unedited appearance on Cartoon Network makes it the closest a Censored Eleven cartoon has ever made it to airing on American television)
 * Rip van Winkle twice stealing scissors from "The Valiant Little Tailor" and using them to cut Uncle Tom's hair to use as ear plugs (the second time resulting in Uncle Tom punching Rip van Winkle in the face and cutting his beard off).

Goofs

 * The Turner "dubbed version" changes the ending music from what it was originally. This is evident on the DVD version, as the audio was sourced from the "dubbed version".

Availability

 * Have You Got Any Castles? is available, uncut and with the Alexander Woollcott caricatures restored, on Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 2, Disc 4.